Time

Assalaamualaikum

Sometimes i wonder. What is the meaning of it all? Apakah hikmah yang tersirat?

I’ve never expected anything.  I’ve learnt not to from my past.  Because it’s all a vicious cycle if i let hope linger in you.  I’ve learnt not to hope on anyone but Allah s.w.t.  Because everything is in His hands.  All we can do is to try and persevere.  I am only me. And i am me, for a reason.  You’ll understand in time.

I’ve always thought that knowing someone like you is a blessing. And you still are.  No matter what the outcome, at least for one moment i know it made me smile.  Feelings can come and go but what’s most important is we have time on our side.

You see, sometimes the mind can play tricks on you.  The heart can play tricks on you too.  Thinking too much can be of no benefit, feeling too much can be of no benefit too.  But there’s one thing that CAN’T lie. One thing that CAN’T play tricks on us.  That is Time.  So be positive. If things are meant to be, it WILL be. Time will work things out for us.  For now it is too early to tell.  But let’s be honest and sincere. Try to Understand and You’ll be Understood. Insya’Allah.

Everything we do is in accordance to Him. Remember that.

Wassalaamualaikum

Bliss on Earth?

Assalaamualaikum,

What does it mean to feel bliss on earth? Total contentment. Total satisfaction.  A resonating warmness on the soul that would make us smile by ourselves, knowing this is what we’ve been looking for.  Will we ever achieve it in this temporary world that we live in?  Does it even exist in this world?  Even so, it will never last long.  Because behind each step we take, no matter where the destination, lies an obstacle and a test of patience and perseverence.

If we falter and succumb to the abyss of darkness, we lose the bliss.  If we stand strong with every ounce of determination and strength, we succeed and that bliss stays.

I always believe it IS possible in this world.  It IS possible to feel that bliss, even if its temporary.  It’ll complete me, the better half of me.  I’ll feel complete.  I’ll carry out my purpose in life, with a resounding certainty and assurance.  No matter where this path takes me, i’ll put all the Hope on Allah s.w.t.  Because only He knows best. I’ll stick to this path.  Even if noone understands, even if all of them come and go.  I won’t falter, because i know, I’m standing by my principles of Faith.

If bliss doesn’t come soon.  It will come later.

Bliss?

Trust me, i’m not like anybody else. This is who i am.  These are my thoughts.   This is my struggle.

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

“The world is a prison-house for a believer and Paradise for a non-believer.”

Think about it.  This isn’t Paradise.  This is the Dunya.  Infinite bliss and Paradise awaits us, only if we truly believe…

Wassalaamualaikum

Butterflies and Saving lives

Assalaamualaikum

I’ve never felt time ticking so slow ever. But i experienced it this past week.  My body’s getting used to it. My mind’s adapting well. Gradually, my eyes and my ears will adapt too.  The Language, The Walk, The Talk.  When i look at them, i was reminded of what i was in e past. And it always brings me down.  Hopefully they will change for the good. May Allah s.w.t open their hearts to Him.

Butterflies in my stomach

I thank God there’s you.  Every day in camp, i look forward to the night, because thats when i’m able to contact you.  I’ll bring extra hp this time. haha. It’s only the beginning. i hope you stay strong with me.

Be patient and strong. I’ll pray for your well-being. insya’Allah.

Wassalaamualaikum

A New Phase beckons.

Salaam

Fighting fire.

In just a few days, a new phase will begin.  Something unpredictable and it has sparked a euphoria of thoughts in my mind tonight till i can’t sleep.

I have heard so much, and I can’t believe my time has come.  I have said it so many times before : Time scares me. How fast it goes by. And what’s gonna happen at home worries me the most.   I have tried again and again to salvage whatever that is left at home.  And i guess the emergence of  a new face at home is what the family needed.  I thank Allah s.w.t for that.

Although my new workplace has tonnes of flaws that i wouldnt wanna get trapped with,  the company has treated me well.  And i know for sure, that every night working there is a test of Faith.  For now, i’m contented with the job.  I hope i find the time to do it again, while i embark on this new phase of life.  My principles will be tested for sure.  Lets hope i take everything in with stride.

How Fate works, still leaves me in awe.  I’m glad i was there. I’m glad you approached me. and hey, i’m glad i had those butterflies in my stomach.  That doesn’t happen everyday.  Now don’t let your fears get the best out of you.  Is that okay? =)

Wassalaam

Better Half of…

Salaam

There’s someone i’ve been missing…. The Better Half of me.

I’ve not been that person for a while now.  I need my brothers.

It’s them i miss the most. and of course, the Better Half of Me.

I’m sorry, very sorry to You. the One who sees, hears and knows everything.  Forgive me.  This is just another phase that  I have to learn from and get over.  For I am nothing, Nothing without You. Please give me the strength.

I’ll end this post with a beautiful song, that the world needs to hear.

Wassalaam.

I’m Back

Assalaamualaikum.

Pardon this long absence. A lot of thinking has been done.  I have a knack of not expressing myself well verbally and sometimes, i resort to silence to avoid misunderstandings.  Geez, those close to me would know how i am such a wreck when i talk sometimes.  And trust me, it is really annoying when u have so much thoughts going on but can’t express and deliver it well enough for people to understand.

And then just to make myself feel better, i write. Songs.

That’s what you get when you have such an active mind with a short tongue.  Compounded by the problem of transforming thoughts into words.

On the other hand, thank God, its Ramadhan.  For once I thought my life was going down the hill. And its possibly, the most tears poured for the longest time, so much happened at home that i’m afraid to even go out sometimes.  Then Ramadhan came, and swept me off from the slumber. and now i’m Back!

Wassalaamualaikum

what’s next?

Assalaamualaikum

It hasn’t been great, lately.  In fact, my morale have never been caught in such a bad downward spiral.  I’ve shut myself away from the world because i’m just too distraught i guess.  Because i realised how worldly this is.  And i seem to fall for the same old predicaments.

I’m not proud of myself for the past few weeks…  I should have known better.  I’m drained mentally and spiritually.  I guess i’m not strong enough.

And it’s taking a toll on my physical self too.  What is hanging over me? tell me.  Just what is wrong with me?

Lately things have not been going my way. And yea, i pull thru one at a time, but it left scars in me.  And i can’t seem to shrug it off.

For I realise, no matter how hard i try to deny it… no matter how hard i try to confront it.

I’m just a slave… to this worldly system.  What’s next Reyza Hamizan?

Give me the Strength please.

Wassalaamualaikum

Fiery Words

Assalaamualaikum

Words.  It can be the most destructive thing.  Seeing how it flares up the most unnecessary spark of fire in our hearts.  I’ve seen too many disasters, erupting from the slightest misunderstanding and a string of words…  That is why, i’m afraid of getting all fired up in my heart.

Because when we are all consumed with anger, the words that comes out from our mouths tend to deviate from logical and constructive analysis, that wouldn’t resolve things.  Because of that fire in our hearts from a small remark, we’d start raising our voices and the beautiful smiles starts to fade away…

Then we’ll be sucked into this illusion as though, anger and raising our voices would heal things up… but in actual reality, it hurts more than it heals.  It flares up the fire in other people.

How could we heal things up, when we use fire to fight against fire?  Which is why, i choose to be patient and i turn to God to show me the way…  Let this be a reminder to myself, to fight that spark of fire in my heart… and use words wisely, calmly.

Follow the mind, and not the heart, when it comes to resolving issues.

There’s only one perfect example to follow… Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W).

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down…Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendants of Adam.” - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1331

Don't let Fire consume your heart.

Wassalaamualaikum

Principles.

Assalaamualaikum,

Once again, I refuse to hope on anyone. not anyone. but Him…

i gotta get my life straight, and keep learning, heading the Straight Path.

No matter what they say.  No matter where this path goes.  As long as i have Him in me.  Impossible is Nothing. Nothing. Insya’Allah.

It’s been a while since i posted something that would benefit us all…

Insya’Allah… i hope this will help us all.  Let it be a reminder to me, and to you.

The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) defined a good friend in these words: “He is the one whose very sight makes you remember Allah, whose conversation increases your knowledge, and whose deeds remind you of the world in the Hereafter.” [Bihar ul-Anwar, Vol.15, pg.51]

and also.  May Peace be upon Mikail Jackson… Al Fatiha.

Wasalaamualaikum.

Rollercoaster

Assalamualaikum

the past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride.  But I always believed behind every tear lies a smile…and when its all over, we’ll think of those moments as the times where we pick ourselves up and grow stronger for the next obstacle.

Gosh i need much support now. and i have to snap out of this auto-pilot state of mind.  Develop those vocal chords, practice, practice and practice…

Here are some picture’s of  e past few weeks, with an exception of something i choose to keep silent. go figure.

The jamming sessions at Red Room.

Kompang "Selamat Pengantin Baru"

Traditional set with Sang Singa Purba

The Aspiring Musicians of Sang Singa Purba

The Modern Contemporary Set

Favourite pic of the day.

*Credits to Fil, Haddad, Deelah, Hyrul Anuar for the pictures.

Syukur Alhamdulillah… for the changes at home. =)

I think i know the reason why love shunned me for the past few years.  Life ain’t the movies.  But i think a movie is unfolding right now as i type this.  A movie in the cycle of life and love… perhaps. perhaps. perhaps.

Wallahu’alam.

Wassalaamualaikum